Speaker 1: 0:00

AJ, I'm drawing parallels here to the talks that we've had in the past around focusing and leaning into your strengths, because from what Henry's telling us that people with ADHDfocus is one of the things that they're dealing with then, man, look out, they're going to really lean into those strengths.

Speaker 2: 0:32

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. This is the Art of Network Engineering podcast. In this podcast we explore tools, technologies and talented people. We aim to bring you information that will expand your skill sense and toolbox and share the stories of fellow network engineers. Welcome to the Art of Network Engineering. I am AJ Murray and tonight my co-host is the one, the only the Tim Bertino Tim, thanks for joining me, our guest this evening. His name is Henry Lam and he is an ADHD life coach. He reached out to us via email and kind of pitched the idea of hey, I've got this great idea for a show and we just latched right onto it. I think it makes a whole lot of sense. So we're really excited to welcome Henry to the show.

Speaker 3: 1:29

Henry, thank you so much for giving us your time.

Speaker 2: 1:30

Yeah, thank you for having me, aj and Tim. Absolutely, henry, can you tell us a little bit more about your background as an ADHD life coach?

Speaker 3: 1:37

Yeah. So first of all, I also have ADHD, which is ADHD combined type, and I struggled for many years with undiagnosed ADHD. I was the typical ADHD kid when I was weirdly just at home, but at school I was the quiet boy who daydreamed, which is kind of like the opposite of the usual typical ADHD kid, the stereotype. And I got diagnosed when I was 22 because I almost dropped out of college and the one therapist was like maybe you have ADHD. I was like, oh, okay. And then I got diagnosed and it made sense like, oh, why I struggled for many years.

Speaker 3: 2:26

No, I couldn't be consistent in doing math, I was smart, but I just didn't put much effort and I could be all over the place or I could just be like just dead zombie in the class. And so after I got diagnosed, I started learning more about ADHD and trying to fix it, cure it, etc. And dealing with other issues and seeing an ADHD therapist hey, I can help other people with ADHD as an ADHD coach. Because I saw, hey, they help people with ADHD and you get freedom and you can live the life you want on your own terms, which I was really rebellious for many years and still am and it's like, oh you, can, you know, be more true to yourself instead of sucking up to a company or other things of that nature. So I became a life coach for the Life Purpose Institute and then I specialized in ADHD with taking courses at the ADHD Coaching Academy. And then, you know, now it's been two and a half years, you know, working on, you know myself and my coaching business.

Speaker 2: 3:53

That's great. So I know part of when you reached out to us. You took it as you know, helping people, focus particularly people with ADHD. But a lot of what you can offer can help folks even if they don't have ADHD, and I think a lot of people today, even if they don't, I think they suffer from. You know the doom scrolling on social media and that just I know it happens to me, right Right. So I get stuck in the doom scrolling. I'm looking at whether what other content creators are doing in our niche, trying to get some ideas for content for us, and now my attention span is just not there. Like I sometimes find it difficult to focus on tasks for extended periods of time, and that's not something that used to be a problem for me. So before we get too much further down the road, let's start at the beginning and define what is ADHD and what does it look like.

Speaker 3: 4:46

Yeah, so ADHD is categorized by the medical professionals as it's a neurodevelopmental disorder. So that means your brain didn't develop as properly as other people. So it's a disorder and you have to treat it. And symptoms can be inattention, which means you're disorganized, poor memory, etc. Hyperactivity, means you keep talking, keep moving, can't sit down and be quiet, and impositivity, meaning you don't think before you speak or you act, etc. So these are just a general, the categories of ADHD. Of course there's specific behaviors for each, and then some people might have all of them, or they might have just inattention, which is more common in, say, network engineers, or they could be combined as well. For network engineers it would be less being just a hyperactive, impulsive person, which is more like the stereotype. If it's the hyperactive and impulsive, that's more like the stereotypical kid, but they do outgrow some of it. But they're still hyperactive or impulsive in their mind or they channel it in different ways or impulsive in their mind or they channel it in different ways.

Speaker 1: 6:09

Now, Henry, you mentioned being diagnosed in your early 20s. Is there any sort of typical age or period in life where this is diagnosed in people? Or I mean, are a lot of kids seen and diagnosed, or at what point do we think this is starting to show in people?

Speaker 3: 6:31

Yeah, so it's more commonly diagnosed in kids, especially boys, especially the typical hyperactive and positive kid. The stereotype it's being more diagnosed in adults now, more so female, since they more likely to seek help. Um, but, but usually it's the everyone else, you know they can get lost in a crowd. They get diagnosed with anxiety, depression, bipolar, borderline, etc. So know, because there's a spectrum of ADHD folks, it can be hard to pinpoint, slash most practitioners in healthcare and mental healthcare to understand ADHD, because there's a spectrum of folks so it's hard for people to understand ADHD and that they don't understand ADHD in general.

Speaker 1: 7:24

And let's tap into that a little bit further, because I was starting to have this question in Zatharian in the chat. Read my mind it's how do we diagnose people with ADHD? What does that process look like?

Speaker 3: 7:46

for ADHD testing to have you go through questionnaires about you know your, your daily life and you know your possible ADHD symptoms and they are categorized under, you know, inattention, hyperactivity and positivity, so they're like grouped and you know, and then there's like a scale of your rating for each and you know then you could have low symptoms, medium symptoms or high symptoms. So there's a range and then when is so, some people might have high, some people have medium, some people have low. That can worsen ADHD, like you know really poor sleep or poor breathing or other health problems, so your symptoms would be higher. And that's what it seems like. When you know people are worked up. If you have anxiety and depression and like really bad sleep, you're like the high symptoms and then you're on so many drugs and I'm like this is I mean. And then you you doesn't mean like okay, you have that stuff that maybe like if you solve everything, you don't have ADHD because they don't test, like hey, that you have the special traits in ADHD that stand out, like you're really creative, innovative, you can really hyper-focus, you have high energy levels, you're really resilient, you're very spontaneous, enthusiastic, you're very high risk-taking, et cetera. So these are like the positives. So that's the problem too. It's like, you know, they don't really like test for those. Maybe they do test for IQ and stuff in conjunction, but you know they don't look at that. It's like that kind of stuff is like I know that's more like true ADHD, but of course they don't test like that because it's like H2 people really stand out when they're healthy and at their best.

Speaker 3: 9:35

It's just the symptoms, like even if you got a brain injury, you could have like ADHD symptoms too, because the front part of your brain is the prefrontal cortex that regulates your planning, your executive functions, your focus. So when that gets damaged which can get damaged in many ways or not working properly, like poor sleep, you know, give anybody sleep apnea, they're going to have ADHD-like symptoms. It doesn't mean they have ADHD. So… yeah, so you know there's a range of that Plus, you know, looking at the rest of their life to not just you know what they score. So you know.

Speaker 3: 10:12

And then some people do see, you know, like more extensive testing on other things because they might have other issues. Thousand US dollars just to get tested, because they've all just to rule out things, or they have money and they have other issues. So they kind of look at the whole life, that you had it your whole life. But you could have some of the things I mentioned your whole life too. So that's of course. You know a lot of this you know gets complicated here, but you know I always try to. You know, do they really have that positive traits? But you know AC coaching does you know help executive function, so it can help people who maybe have pseudo ADHD and don't really have ADHD or they just don't TikTok too much and has wired their brain for three, four years to be less focused. And you got to build that training wheel back on to focus more.

Speaker 2: 11:05

Guilty as charged focus more.

Speaker 1: 11:11

So guilty as charged. It's funny you say that because I literally this morning removed Facebook from my phone because it's like I just I have to be done. Nothing productive is is coming from this and with how it's kind of changed somewhat recently. I don't know about you, but I've less and less seen on Facebook like actual posts from friends. There's a lot of sponsored things and just things that Facebook thinks that I would like and I'm like I'm not really getting anything out of this anyway, so just get it gone.

Speaker 2: 11:38

Hey Henry, you know, as Tim mentioned and as you mentioned, you were diagnosed later on in life. Do we have any sort of idea on? You know how many people may be going about their life undiagnosed? Is there some percentages around this? Is this more common than we think? Can you give us an idea on that?

Speaker 3: 11:59

Yeah, so it depends on which country and where. You see, globally, adults are 4% to 5% affected. Then children would be around double of that. So in some countries they don't have a mental health awareness and they don't diagnose and it costs money and the stigma, et cetera, of you know being diagnosed with something and so you know people going through their life, you know struggling and not knowing and you know seek and getting help when it doesn't match. You know it's like I can go on Reddit and different subreddits, but this person has ADHD. What can I do about it? You know, besides keep posting or something. But you know I can I do about it, besides keep posting or something, but I can't just tell them they have ADHD. It's like, oh okay, I feel sad that you're struggling with that and you don't know that you have ADHD.

Speaker 2: 12:58

So yeah, and you mentioned stigma. I'm a child of the 80s and the 90s and growing up during that time period, adhd had a huge kind of negative connotation stigma associated with it. How is it today? Is that still there? Is it more widely accepted or more understood than it was perhaps back then?

Speaker 3: 13:22

Yeah. So ADHD it's a little bit better now, but still it's a stigma. You know, you see the letters. It's like a death sentence. And then, like what you see first or know first is like what it is. It's like, oh, he can focus, he doesn't have ADHD, that doesn't mean anything. And you know, yes, you know, tiktok ADHD folks. You know they're doing a good job and stuff. So it's like, you know, and reframing, you know ADHD as a positive thing. And then now there is some people who are pushing like it's a brain difference, which? It is a brain difference. The brain doesn't mature as fast as other people but then have really great strengths that the other people don't have.

Speaker 3: 14:16

So, looking at it that way, and a lot of the people that are famous in any field that HGV would work really well in, like network engineering, some of the best people are ADHD folks. You know the celebrities are like whether it's Ryan Reynolds, who's everywhere, and even you know, former past president before the current one. You know there's things about ADHD that are addicting to other people and, ironically, adhd people are addicted to addicting things, especially ADHD folks. So you know, watch out for ADHD folks. You don't want to get addicted to them. So you know they're dangerous and you know many of the famous athletes, entrepreneurs, entertainers, tech professionals, et cetera have ADHD. So when looking at that, it's like there's a lot of great people with ADHD. Of course, if only they spoke out more about together public PR with Super Bowl or whatever it is. If you have signs of ADHD, get help, get support. We get inside our own world too much and there's a lot of negative self-talk and self-hate and anxiety and depression because of that and it's really troubling.

Speaker 2: 15:36

So, yeah, You've kind of touched on it here and there, but it sounds like through all this negativity there's a lot of positives, with folks that might have ADHD. What are some of those? Can we start to highlight some of those, just to kind of step away from the negative, maybe a little bit?

Speaker 3: 15:55

Yeah, yeah. So Asian folks, you know they're really creative, innovative. You know network engineering, software engineering, you know a lot of creative innovation. So they can really focus for hours with their hyper-focus, meaning you could focus for 12, 16, 18 hours, which is probably not good because you're burnt out. But you know, just keep on solving problems and inventing things. And then quick thinking, adaptability, keen interest, quick thinking, adaptability, keen interests and their passion and just going, you know, full on with whatever that is. And you know having strong empathy and compassion for others. You know so be really good at helping others and caring for people, being spontaneous and enthusiastic, resilience and high energy levels. So these not everyone has these.

Speaker 1: 17:03

It depends on the person. So you know, it's a spectrum. As usual, AJ, I'm drawing parallels here to the talks that we've had in the past around focusing and leaning into your strengths, because from what Henry's telling us, that people with ADHD or can be hyper focused on things that they're passionate about. So I'm thinking that you know, if, if people with ADHD have specific strengths that I think in it, if hyper focus is is one of the things that they're dealing with, then, man, look out, they're going to really lean into those strengths.

Speaker 2: 17:34

Yeah, yeah, absolutely so. You know, henry, you've touched on a few times network engineers. We tend to need to focus for long periods of time, either studying for, you know, certifications, learning, new technologies, big projects at work. If we're somebody who struggles with that, whether we have ADHD or not, what are some tips and tactics that folks can do to help kind of build that focus back if we've kind of lost it a little bit?

Speaker 3: 18:07

Yeah. So finding ways to focus and gaining it back, so finding what works for you to get into focus. So there's many ways to get focused, like a thousand ways to get focused. Even squeezing your abs helps you focus because it dilates your pupils and and that makes you focus, um. So it's like having a list of activities that that you know refresh your mind, um, to get back into focus. Whereas you know reading something you like, whether you you do a little hobby that you enjoy for 10-15 minutes, whether you do some, you know quick pushups or marching. Marching and then touching your elbows to your knees with opposite arm and opposite leg, you know things of that nature is like, you know, making your brain turn on. Even putting cold water on your face, you know, turns on your brain to focus. So there's so many ways.

Speaker 3: 19:09

So having you know a list and you know picking one and doing it, of course, in conjunction with that, is also taking breaks. You know it's like, okay, four hour limit, one, two hour break, besides having maybe little breaks in the four hours if need. So you know making sure that you know you stop the car and let it. You know cool down the engine before you turn it back on. But you got to warm it up. You know, just like in video games, you know the. You know like, say, league of Legends or other stuff's like the best players. You know they have to warm up. You know they do. You know eye training or hand training or whatever it is warmups before they get into the game. They talk to themselves positively, they visualize success, they write down what they're going to do and then set limits on things and then get into it. Blackout, distractions, dark room, one screen go, which does help you with focus. If you just turn off the lights, just look at one screen, one thing, you're in focus mode.

Speaker 3: 20:18

So, setting up that you're taking things seriously and you're blocking things and taking care of yourself, you can sustain attention for a long time and then adding in that, hey, you know, sustain attention for a long time and then adding in that, hey, you know, sometimes when you're hyper-focused, especially with ASU folks, you know they're kind of like holding their breath or breathing really fast. So it's like taking time to slowly breathe in through their nose and then breathe out through their nose is important during their breaks. And you know when they're feeling stressed or anxious, et cetera. And you know, watching like you know with. You know, with working remotely, a lot of folks are. You know, it's like the meetings are even worse when remotely. So it's like ADHD folks hate meetings. It's like ADHD folks hate meetings.

Speaker 2: 21:09

It's like, it's like I don't think that's limited to just ADHD.

Speaker 3: 21:13

ADHD. Folks really hate it though. So like finding ways for you to focus during meetings so afterwards you don't kill your focus for your next task, sure. So finding ways to before the session and during a session, to focus in afterwards like, ok, I need to reset myself. You know, I got stress from our board stress sitting in a meeting. I need to release that and get into the hyper focus mode to get things done, because then it's like afterwards people, it's like it's like they ate a really bad, heavy, delicious McDonald's meal and then they're like, oh, I got to focus now.

Speaker 1: 21:53

After a meeting, it's like you didn't eat anything but that meeting.

Speaker 3: 21:57

It was like, oh my God, it just ruins your day. And the people who have meetings in the morning, it's like that's terrible. A lot of people focus the best in the morning. So doing your best work in the morning um, usually, unless those night hours are bad sleep disorders it's like get things done in the morning before lunch and so you can, you know, feel better about yourself and you don't do it the second half of the day, you know, after you ate mcdonald's or whatever, and not not feel good about yourself, which you know you know especially.

Speaker 3: 22:30

You know you know programmers and engineers. You know they. You know they can have a bad, you know lifestyle with their food. So it's like you know keeping that stuff away and taking care of your body. You know like, just like how an athlete does or a professional esports. Like you know you eat bad stuff. You're not gonna get your hyper focus and your creativity and problem solving skills to be a hundred percent. You know you got to value it and you know if you're addicted to that stuff, you can transfer out. It's just you know it takes time. You know it takes time to create, you know, a huge network. It takes time to change your habits I, that's a lot.

Speaker 1: 23:08

I like, uh, a lot of the tactics that you suggested, except the ab one. I wouldn't be able to do the ab one because I'd have to get the abs first, but hey there's goals there.

Speaker 1: 23:19

One thing is you were talking about practicing focus, something that I believe, aj, we've talked about in an episode or two before on the show, probably when talking about study habits and tactics and that kind of thing is the, and I I think this is what it is, I if I don't get it right, let me know but the, the Pomodoro technique, where you, you go heads down for X amount of time and then you give yourself somewhat of a break. Are strategies or tactics like that applicable to folks with ADHD?

Speaker 3: 23:53

Yeah, so you brought up a good point. So ADHD they work their best when they're in sprints, so you're blocking out time and then there's urgency to get something done. That's why a lot of them procrastinate to the deadline, because that's when it's like, why that's where their brain gets so much energy to just execute. So you need daily deadlines and short sprints up to four hours in a period to get things done. And then you got to break things down into small tasks and then track progress, like in a video game. And you know you see that bar and you know a lot of video games they do so much mundane, boring things or stuff that's repetitive and there's no variety. But they show progress and it's predictable and it's they're giving you a lot of positive feedback great job, I did it, nailed, keep the good work, et cetera. So having even just listening to that while doing those long periods of work will help you focus better because you're getting, you know, satisfaction from it. You know it's like, okay, it's probably not good to just drink, you know, coca-cola for four hours to get work done. Yes, because you're getting positive dopamine from that. But you know, just listening to music that's good for focus, or just phrases will help keep pushing your focus along and taking time to. You know, put in that time to pre-warm up your focus. You know, just like you do a jogging and light sprinting before you actually sprint, so the muscles are ready to fire. So, yeah, the Pomodoro is great and improving on that.

Speaker 3: 25:37

You know some folks use, you know, the visual timers to have like a pie chart so they can see time more. Or use a sand timer, etc. Or even, if they need be, use Peepo, like okay, we're going to get a partner, we're going to work for 25 minutes, we're going to share what we did and keep on going. You know something like that. Because HG people, they do get more motivation and focus when they're accountable with people even more. It's like having somebody. The systems are super online. They're great at helping other people but not so much at themselves a lot of times.

Speaker 2: 26:17

I kind of like that idea of I don't know mirroring somebody, right, like you work together in a room. You see the example, oh, somebody is working. I better work too as somebody that works remotely. I don't mind it, but sometimes it'd be nice to have a friend around to work with every now and then. But I think that's some great advice, right, like if you're alone at your desk, even in the office, maybe you book a conference room or get to a shared space and work. You know, work with somebody for a little bit, for those short sprints. And, yeah, the Pomodoro technique. I think it's like 25 minutes of work, five minutes of relaxing, and I think you do like four of those and then you take like a longer extended break.

Speaker 2: 26:57

I recall when I was doing meditation, there's this idea or thing called equanimity and it's like your brain is a muscle and, just like any other muscle in your body, you have to work it to get it to. You know, build strength and if you can, you know the idea of meditation is this mental calmness clear, clear, your mind don't think about anything. If you, if thoughts start to barge in there, you, you recognize it and then you know kind of like, push them away and get back to that mental calmness again. When I was starting my meditation journey, I learned about this idea of equanimity and as I started to build that up and get better at meditation, I found I got better at working for longer sprints because I was building my focus back. Is that a technique or anything that you would recommend?

Speaker 3: 27:44

Yeah, so mind, body, mindfulness, meditation, somatic exercises, tai chi, qigong, yoga, all those things Well, and even martial arts help with focus and ADHD so much. So, even just breathing in slowly and exhaling slowly, you're bringing in dopamine to this part of the brain. As mentioned before, that's the prefrontal cortex, which is related to focus and motivation and planning. So if you want to focus better and feel better, you make sure that this part of the brain is getting, you know, air and dopamine throughout the day. So having those periods during your day, you know, even a couple breaths really changes the game of you know, your productivity, your communication, etc. Especially in even non-ag folks. Because you know we take on so much stress, um, in life, and you know, when stress, the first thing the body shuts down so much stress is that part of the brain and it's like what did they do at stores and online shopping and stuff? It's like shut that part of the brain down and just like take your money and that's that's what they're doing. And video games wants you to shut it down too, because video games, you don't need this, they already have it out for you. You just follow their thing and and you keep going. So, so finding what works for you of meditation, mindfulness, breathing, etc. And incorporate that, you know, throughout your day.

Speaker 3: 29:21

I mean, martial arts is one of the best things, though, because you're getting the exercise and you're getting the mind-body awareness and the folks, when they're little the mom sent there they do really well. I mean, like I'm Chinese-American and Jackie Chan has ADHD. His son was like, oh, my dad has ADHD. And I was like, oh, and then look at him. Oh, his story, oh, he's a typical ADHD kid, but in Asia. So Jackie Chan then was sent to martial arts and that's where he disciplined his mind and his body and then channeled into being a creative and an action star in movies.

Speaker 3: 30:05

So when your mind and body is aligned, then you can, you know, channel your energy and focus into whatever you want, if you're really curious and passionate about it. Cause, you know, maybe network engineering, you know, isn't for you If you you can't keep up the certifications, or, you know, losing a drive to learn or whatever it's like, maybe something else that you know it is what it is, or it's maybe like your body's just not keeping up anymore and you've been abusing it, not to your fault, you know, because a lot of things are just pushed for you to do bad things in this society. So it's like you know, fixing your health and you know getting a line of your principles and values is important.

Speaker 1: 30:43

No, it's usually my fault.

Speaker 3: 30:45

I'll take ownership for that.

Speaker 1: 30:47

That's great. So, henry, shifting gears a little bit and let's talk about support and treatment. When do typically, or when do you recommend, people start seeking treatment or help from assistance from a doctor?

Speaker 3: 31:08

Yeah, so when their daily life is really affected by their ADHD, so typically you know, it's like, you know, when their productivity is so bad and their home life, you know so much things going on, it's like then you know they can't handle't handle it. Usually when it's like they get a new job or a higher position, or they just got married or their kids now just got a house, and then it's like, you know this, the brain just opens up, you know, because there's so much stress, it's like you know, I, I, that you know they don't feel themselves and there's like you know an entire doctor and it's like, okay, you know, it's like okay, you know, I tell the doctor I was like okay, you know, I was like okay, and I was sent to, you know, a psychiatrist or a therapist and check what's going on. So you know it's usually one of those crisis moments. Or you know the new life changes.

Speaker 3: 31:56

You know people seek out, you know, help, you know, for ADHD or not, and it's like you know a whole bunch of people seek out for life coaching. It's like like you might have adhd and you not know it and it's like, yeah, you could use medication or you could also use a coach as well to help you know manage that. You know that you've been getting by without. You know. You know developing some skills. You know because you're smart and you're good at your job and and you're like and you like it. Um, it's just, you know there's some things that could be improved, because you know we don't want you to burn out, because H-sheet folks, especially the successful ones, you know they work too much and then don't take care of themselves and then they burn out.

Speaker 2: 32:41

Let's talk about that for a minute. So what does burnout like? Let's define it Like if we're just so hyper-focused on stuff, how can we tell that we're starting to burn out?

Speaker 3: 32:53

Yeah, so you don't feel motivated to do the things you like to do during work and outside of work. Everything becomes more of a chore. You're more exhausted, your sleep is worse. Everything is kind of a chore. You know you're more exhausted, you know your sleep is worse. You know everything is kind of like going out, and then you know you might start feeling more overwhelmed with things that you know weren't overwhelming before, or you know, and things of that or the opposite, you know it's like this doesn't do it for me anymore, and and then you know, and then you know you start having more.

Speaker 2: 33:31

You have anxiety, are you feeling depressed, etc and what are some ways that that folks, can you know, come back from burnout? Do they just go on vacation for a little bit, and sometimes that might be difficult to do. How do you combat that? How do you? How do you recover?

Speaker 3: 33:50

Yeah, so you know taking time to work on. You know your health. You know mindfulness, meditation. You know going out into nature, improving your sleep routine, eating. You know foods that you know are nourishing to you and you know talking to people about. You know your challenges and seeking mental health. And you know. And then you know, try to refresh your life with. You know some hobbies you used to do, or you know having something you enjoy and being thankful and writing down things and looking at things.

Speaker 3: 34:30

Just re-exploring yourself too, can be very helpful to see. It's like maybe you do have to take a vacation, maybe you do need a new career or you would just adjust how you do your job or you get a different position at your company. So you know it could be many ways. It's just like what's you so? You know, as a coach, and I'm here to find what works for you, you know there's a thousand ways to focus. Are you going to use all of them? No, so finding you know what's, you know what's going to work for you at that time, and you know, and sticking to it, you know cause, especially Asian folks, you know, sticking to something can be tough. You know it's. You know, um, the beginning, you know, is hard, and you know, and, and it takes time to change.

Speaker 1: 35:21

So let's, Henry, let's talk about what you do as a life coach. When someone reaches out to you, you have a new client. How do you start those sessions? How do you start that relationship to get them moving in the right?

Speaker 3: 35:37

direction, every call, which is, you know, discussing. You know if we're a good fit for each other. You know what's his challenges. You know how I work, et cetera. So you know, we then do the intake session where you know, we discuss, you know, you know his current, more of his current situation, details, because I gave him intake forms to find out. You know what's going on in his work life, his home life, you know what AAC things he's struggling with, what does he want to change, what stopped him from changing before? How's his mindfulness, what are his values, what are his strengths, what is his passions, interests, et cetera. And then you know, then the session afterwards is then discussing okay, we're going to make plans for the goals you outline, intake, you know AC friendly goals. I mean, we don't want to be professionistic with the goals but we do want to, of course, make it.

Speaker 3: 36:38

You know the smart, typical smart goals, but you know some more flexibility because you're you have ADHD, we just want progress. You know it's like, because you have ADHD, we just want progress. You know it's like in video game. It's like you don't think about, oh, that boss is level 100. It's like you don't think about yes, it's like you're going to show who's boss later. But you know you don't think so much about that. You think about how are you going to get there and that you take time every day to do that and set up the system to do that. So day to do that and set up the system to do that.

Speaker 3: 37:08

So say you know you want to have an organized room as your go, for example, it's like, okay, what are the little things we're going to do right in the beginning to help decrease that it gets messy? You know what are you going to buy, et cetera. And then like how are you going to keep maintaining it and when are you going to schedule a time to clean it, et cetera. So you know every session after the initial, it's like okay, if there's three goes, there's three sessions to start working on those goes. Like you know putting things into action. You know quick, actionable steps. It's like okay, distractions kind of start blocking them and setting up time for you to have those distractions when you have distraction time, not when you're working time. And yeah, Then afterwards is adding more stuff to that stuff or other stuff that affects their ADHD and their life to help them keep going. So it's all about little things.

Speaker 3: 38:01

Every week it's like, okay, what do you want to work on? Okay, let's see what are your issues. Okay, can we create solutions that work for you? How can you use your strength and problem solving to fix this issue? And it's like, oh wait, you did this before. It's like, could you reapply it and remember to do it more often?

Speaker 3: 38:22

So I mean a good portion, I mean like 80% of solutions. You kind of already have it through talking and questions to get you the solution and then you try to keep it that way until it doesn't work anymore and we keep changing it up. But we want to make sure it's like it works for you, because there's so many solutions, because the books are just all general solutions. They're not you, they don't understand your life, your preferences, your personality.

Speaker 3: 38:52

So, as a coach, it's like, okay, you know, 80% it's you, 20% it's yeah, maybe there's some tools that work really well with for you versus other tools and you like that thing more. So you got to work with you 80%, and then 20% is everything else and it just, you know, keep practicing those things, cause you know you got so many, you know you got, you've got anxiety, depression or negative thoughts and self-sabotaging, and there's a lot of stuff to work on to get you to be like okay, adhd is actually okay, it's actually a wonderful thing. That's why you like network engineering. It's just when you're not healthy in your mind and body, then you're not going to be yourself. And having a support system whether it's a company, your house or if you live in Canada and it's so cold and that makes you miserable it's like I mean that's another it's a personal shot, henry.

Speaker 3: 39:53

It's like I mean that's a personal shot Henry, then that's also another challenge too.

Speaker 2: 40:12

It's like, ok, you got to get light therapy more often when you live in the North or you know, find ways to be more social and not be in the house, and find activities you enjoy once again, or something new that will, you know, make you more you. That's all great, great advice. Henry, I want to ask you this before we sign off, and I probably should have asked you this earlier when you were going kind of through your journey, at what point did you kind of realize like, hey, I can help people and kind of run with that?

Speaker 3: 40:33

Yeah, so when I was seeing an HD coach myself, but I kind of brushed it off in the beginning but then I wasn't thinking too much of it Because I made a mistake and thought everyone with HD is like the people on Reddit and Reddit is like if you go on Reddit, adhd, it's like that's like it's a doomsday adhd, it's like it's like the worst thing in the world. So it's like don't, don't go on that, because it's really like, you know, like a heart attack, that subreddit so. But it's like when you, when, when, you know, when, I think about, yeah, I could be a psychologist, I like problem solving, I like helping people, or a researcher or entrepreneur, it's like, you know, an ADHD coach kind of does a bunch of things and also kind of like a consultant, which a lot of IT consultants or consultants are ADHD, because there's like I got a client, he has a problem, I focus for hours. New client Next day, focus for hours Next day. I focus for hours. New client next day, focus for hours next day, you know. So you know it's like, okay, yeah, I can do that.

Speaker 3: 41:43

You know, and you know a lot of psychiatrists and a good portion of therapists have ADHD, ironically too.

Speaker 3: 41:46

So you know it's like, okay, yeah, I can, I can be a coach and, and you know, help help people across the world and you know, you know, make the world even a better place and more funner place, because hd people are fun and and and interesting folks and, you know, and filling a gap in the void and most coaches don't have adhd and um, I mean that I mean 80 most ac coaches don't have ADHD.

Speaker 3: 42:15

They're kind of like the moms who have ADHD children or husbands. So that also fills another gap. Having another person who understands you and then giving them my for helping people. And you know it's a great feeling to help people, you know, because a lot of things we do is like it's for other people or we make things for other people. So you know, people who are most satisfied, high satisfaction in life is because they help other people and they see the benefit of what they do, you know, with their words or their actions and their product and, you know, gives them a good feeling. So that's why I became a coach our live stream.

Speaker 2: 43:16

Is a life coach kind of the same thing as a psychologist, or is it really something different? And if somebody is looking for a life coach, what are some of the qualifications that folks should look for? If someone is just saying oh hey, I'm a life coach, but maybe they don't have any qualifications or maybe they have the wrong qualifications, what are some things that folks can look for, as they're maybe looking for some help?

Speaker 3: 43:33

Yeah, so a psychologist. They have training in mental health. They're focused on diagnosis of anxiety, depression and other things and they're focused on healing your past with family and other things. And that's their focus and they have all these techniques and things. And that's, you know, their focus. And they have all these techniques and things. And you know they get licensing Coaches. On the other hand, they don't have to have anything and they're more focused on solutions for your future.

Speaker 3: 44:07

So you know, think about you know your future as like a wall. You want to go over that wall, but then you know you might be dealing with anxiety and stuff. You're not even thinking about the wall. That's where you go see a therapist, but if you want to climb that wall, you see a coach. So you know, think of it that way and that, okay, there are schools for coaching, except you know some of them are not, you know, accredited by anything. And a good portion of them are accredited by the ICF, which is the International Coaching Federation, which kind of be like the APA, which is the American Psychological Association, does for psychologists, the ICF does for coaching and there's a few other smaller ones. So, finding a coach who studied at a school like that and, if need be, study other things in whatever you're seeking help for. And at the end of the day, yes, tony Robbins didn't study at any school and he gets paid 10,000, whatever an hour, whatever it is, and he has paid 10,000, whatever, uh, an hour or whatever it is. And you know he has helped a lot of people.

Speaker 3: 45:16

So of course you know if you get too bogged down that um, then then of course sometimes it's not always that, but you know it's just, it's just a rule of thumb. So you know why MMV. You know with that. And so you know the life coach. You know we're we're not going to have any mental health techniques and stuff, but a lot of them have. They could be health coaches or mindfulness, so they might specialize in something. So in general life coaches, they just have different aspects of life, how to create solutions to overcome it.

Speaker 3: 45:53

But usually it's like if you have more than like moderate to high, like anxiety, depression, other stuff that's getting in the way of your life, then you're probably not ready for a life coach. You know you climbing the wall is going to be even more difficult. So you should see a therapist versus a life coach. Besides, some folks have really bad sleep and breathing challenges. So working on that would would help you be more ready for life coaching, cause some of that affects your mental health. A lot of it affects your mental health. Um, you know, if you you know you probably have family members um one or so, you know with like sleep apnea, it's like if they don't have that CPAP machine they feel so bad after they wake up and you're going to be more ADHD if you do so, and it's like you're going to be grouchy, you can't focus, you really need the caffeine even more than other people, etc.

Speaker 2: 46:50

Yeah, and, like you said, if you were diagnosed or maybe you feel like you're having some struggles later on in life, you might not need a mental health professional or medications. You just need some tools, and a life coach can help kind of assess where you're at and provide you with those tools to help you get over that wall. I love the analogy, henry. This has been a real fun conversation. If people want to learn more about you and some of these techniques and stuff that you recommended, where can they go to learn more?

Speaker 3: 47:18

Yeah, so you know. You see my name over here. You can type in CoachHenryLambcom to reach out and you know, ask any questions. And you know, get help and get help if you're looking for help in the future. I'm working on a book Well, it's a short guide and I'm working on a group coaching program to help folks out and one day courses. I mean, if you, of course, don't remember that, you could just type in ADHD coaching near me. If that, remember. I mean it's easier, since I wanted to change my name. It'd be funny if I changed my name to something that was more memorable. But so, yeah, so you know, embrace your strengths. You know seek support. You know, tailored to your needs, because no one else is going to replace you. And you know you can be extraordinary in whatever you're curious or passionate about. And hey, remember, if you ever see a network engineer running around looking for their misplaced laptop while holding it in their hand, just know they might be one of us too with ADHD.

Speaker 1: 48:26

They'd be missing the console cable too, though yes, Everybody's always missing those.

Speaker 2: 48:31

Yes, I love it. I love it, henry. Thank you so much. I will put those links in our show notes so you can find those nice and easy, henry, but before we sign off, is there anything that we should have asked you that we didn't? No, awesome, yeah, I think we did great. We covered the topic pretty thoroughly. This has been very informative. Thank you so much, henry, for joining us and we'll see you next time on another episode of the Art of Network Engineering podcast. Hey everyone, this is AJ. If you like what you heard today, then make sure you subscribe to our podcast and your favorite podcatcher. Smash that bell icon to get notified of all of our future episodes. Also, follow us on Twitter and Instagram. We are at Art of NetEng, that's Art of N-E-T-E-N-G. You can also find us on the web at artofnetworkengineeringcom, where we post all of our show notes. You can read blog articles from the co-hosts and guests and also a lot more news and info from the networking world. Thanks for listening.